It is hard when older individuals tell you in your 20s that you should be having fun by going out. However, being 20 is not always fun. Talking to people in my class and inner circle, it sounds like everyone lives in fear of what their future may look like.
Arguably, all 20-somethings go through fear, but the fear in Generation Z (Gen Z) is different from other generations due to social media. Every scroll feels as if you are trailing further behind your peers, either because of all the work you know you still have to do or because of comparisons of your wealth to others.
Fear in your 20s also looks different because you have the pressure to build your identity as soon as possible, when the adults around you have had decades to build theirs. It seems similar to when parents would yell at you at the kitchen table at 11 pm because you could not figure out your Grade 2 math questions. They already had the practice for it and were well past that stage, unlike you.
Lastly, the amount of work you have to complete in your daily life in your 20s to get to the career you want creates tremendous stress, leading to rumination. This reminds me of the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Triangle, introduced by psychologist Aaron Beck in 1967, which I learnt in my first undergraduate psychology class.
The triangle reflects the relationship between behaviours, thoughts, and feelings. Imagine you have a midterm coming up. The process goes like so:
1 — Thoughts
You begin to think that you are not going to pass. Maybe it is because you have not studied, or maybe it is because you are a perfectionist so however much you study is never enough.
2 — Feelings
Your thoughts cause you to become anxious about what might be on the test. Your reality has set in.
3 — Behaviours
You might start flipping through pages in your notebook, trying to study as fast as possible. Alternatively, you might start cleaning your room, trying to ignore all the chapters you have left to study. At this point, the anxiety is heavily affecting your actions.
The CBT Triangle is bidirectional, meaning it can work the opposite way too. The triangle helps provide insight into why a little bit of anxiety can turn into a lot.
Unfortunately, fear keeps building in your 20s, with no universal end, all in the name of providing purpose to life and adding charm to your image.
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